I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
