btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
