I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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