What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
