One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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