A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Randomize
