We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
