I hope mine doesn't look like that
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
