You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
from now on my penis is your penis
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
