Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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