Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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