I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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