this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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