How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
