operation have a gay friend backfired
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
