Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
this hospital has no fireball
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize