Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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