I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
