fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
