Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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