The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
