I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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