So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
