I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize