And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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