i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
