Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
