Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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