I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
high people should be assigned attendants
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
