she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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