Having a random hookup so left but love u
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
