Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
