Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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