Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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