ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
