Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
