Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
