at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
