Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
