Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just high enough for therapy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
