Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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