Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
