If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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