I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I stole a fireplace last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
