someone get that fucking seahorse.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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