Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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