walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
