Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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