we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
