I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
