He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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