Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
