He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
