even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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