I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize