i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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