just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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