Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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