I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize