just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
