Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's like heaven, but drunker
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
