He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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