What a fucking waste of an outfit
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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