In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
